The blank page of this document is startling. I wish there were lines or something else to cover up this bright whiteness. Well, there, these words are making it appear a bit more tolerable.
I am a bit disappointed that I won't be able to take any classes this semester but this is probably for the best. These are an experience of the past and with my graduation being just around the corner, they can not continue for much longer. Still though, my love for learning makes it hard to distance from a classroom, even though most of the learning I have retained in life has been from my own experiences outside of the classroom, I still cling to it like an oyster and his shell. I enjoy the college fear of speaking out in seminars, the emotions of people willing to lash out at any moment. The classroom for these last couple of years has been less of a place of learning and more a ring for boxing, with ideas of course. Most of the time I did not speak my ideas that I had about things like Foucault's biopower or how to effectively fix gender inequality. No, for the most part I stayed silent in class and instead of speaking, pondered how animalistic we are. Not barbaric, no, barbarism would imply that we are still human, no. I really do mean close to animals in communication, emotions, computation of emotions and so an and so forth. This was a large takeaway from my last 3 and a half years of classes.
College turns anyone from a gifted soul to a soulless tool. In the US system, teachers are held to impossible standards, only to increase the bredth of their topics almost endlessly, while showing the students just how pliable the will of an academic is. And don't get me started on scientific journals, publishing companies, and the like. They are Newspeak, and unfortunately for them, people will never speak like that garbage. At first I liked scientific papers, or I forced myself to, so that I could get through these last couple of years. In normal circumstances I would not have let myself been so pushed around but because of my tumultuous experiences in late highschool, my fathers pressure, and my want to honor my mother, I put through with it and all the tower climbing that came with it. Now though, As I finish up my final semester, I'm ready to change positions from defensive to offensive. This, I believe, is important in life. If you can change and understand how and why you change you can maker better and more informed decisions. This is why I can not stand the "stock market". The stock market, even with all the information that is about how to read it, understand it, and predict it, still continues to misguide our society. People, even the best, fall again and again on blatant chance with their money and I think that this fucks up our culture. There are many guys (especially in the mgtow movement) who are obsessed with crypto currency and trading stocks, investing yada yada yada. What I'm interested in is What the fuck do you plan to do with the money afterwords? Great, perhaps you can make good money through these, dare I say, very far removed from reality decisions, that somehow impact our entire economy, but then what is the goal? To continue to overload our culture with useless spending, fried food, clogged arteries, fake tits and gas guzzling engines. That's not freedom to me, that's just Vanity Fair, a disgusting array of worldly pleasures that satisfy our fears. This comes from a severe lack of self-assessment and possibly regret. I don't have a solution to fix this other than, people learning how to fit time into their lives for processing and reflection. Without it there is a possibility that we all will suffer.
I am a bit disappointed that I won't be able to take any classes this semester but this is probably for the best. These are an experience of the past and with my graduation being just around the corner, they can not continue for much longer. Still though, my love for learning makes it hard to distance from a classroom, even though most of the learning I have retained in life has been from my own experiences outside of the classroom, I still cling to it like an oyster and his shell. I enjoy the college fear of speaking out in seminars, the emotions of people willing to lash out at any moment. The classroom for these last couple of years has been less of a place of learning and more a ring for boxing, with ideas of course. Most of the time I did not speak my ideas that I had about things like Foucault's biopower or how to effectively fix gender inequality. No, for the most part I stayed silent in class and instead of speaking, pondered how animalistic we are. Not barbaric, no, barbarism would imply that we are still human, no. I really do mean close to animals in communication, emotions, computation of emotions and so an and so forth. This was a large takeaway from my last 3 and a half years of classes.
College turns anyone from a gifted soul to a soulless tool. In the US system, teachers are held to impossible standards, only to increase the bredth of their topics almost endlessly, while showing the students just how pliable the will of an academic is. And don't get me started on scientific journals, publishing companies, and the like. They are Newspeak, and unfortunately for them, people will never speak like that garbage. At first I liked scientific papers, or I forced myself to, so that I could get through these last couple of years. In normal circumstances I would not have let myself been so pushed around but because of my tumultuous experiences in late highschool, my fathers pressure, and my want to honor my mother, I put through with it and all the tower climbing that came with it. Now though, As I finish up my final semester, I'm ready to change positions from defensive to offensive. This, I believe, is important in life. If you can change and understand how and why you change you can maker better and more informed decisions. This is why I can not stand the "stock market". The stock market, even with all the information that is about how to read it, understand it, and predict it, still continues to misguide our society. People, even the best, fall again and again on blatant chance with their money and I think that this fucks up our culture. There are many guys (especially in the mgtow movement) who are obsessed with crypto currency and trading stocks, investing yada yada yada. What I'm interested in is What the fuck do you plan to do with the money afterwords? Great, perhaps you can make good money through these, dare I say, very far removed from reality decisions, that somehow impact our entire economy, but then what is the goal? To continue to overload our culture with useless spending, fried food, clogged arteries, fake tits and gas guzzling engines. That's not freedom to me, that's just Vanity Fair, a disgusting array of worldly pleasures that satisfy our fears. This comes from a severe lack of self-assessment and possibly regret. I don't have a solution to fix this other than, people learning how to fit time into their lives for processing and reflection. Without it there is a possibility that we all will suffer.
